The Merwin Family

it's love week...

2012-02-15T22:36:00.000-08:00

While we've had no heart shaped pizzas, no glittery crafts,

no themed decor to give friends...

we do have each other. all six of us, under one roof- healthy and whole.

and let me tell you...

after the weekend that we experienced,

that is no small thing.

I don't feel like Kayli has looked/seemed 100% since her fever a few weeks ago...

Saturday morning I could barely wake her at 10 AM to go to Rowan's birthday party.

At noon we left early for home, with Kayli complaining of a tummy ache.

By 4 pm she couldn't even walk/was carried to the car.

Enter Phoenix Children's Hospital ER (good times :)

where Kayli was shaky and vomiting due to the pain.

Basically Kayli had what an ultrasound suggested was a ruptured appendix

(that during surgery was discovered had not been seeping bacteria, as previously thought).

We've spent the last few days in the hospital

while Kayli recovers from an appendectomy.

Kayli was amazingly brave, much more so than her mother.

I smiled and waved as they took her off to surgery

and then had a mini breakdown when "it hit me" of what we risk with going under.
I watched them roll her away to the surgical unit and kept thinking
"there goes my heart, being wheeled away"
I so badly wanted to take her place.
...there are no words for how that feels.

After a successful surgery things improved quickly...

Aunt Hayley came with new pillow, blanket, treats

and played ~~pro bono~~ nurse for us.

Ashley S. brought hugs and a ton of candy to enjoy (which she did, every bite!)

grandpa with roses/balloon and crispy creams for the nurses!

We've had lots of love and friends/neighbors, some asking how they can help. The truth is, we're really being taken care of. I say that with more thankfulness than I can even express. Our meals for the next 10 days are being delivered daily by friends, Aunt Hayley took the boys for 3 days. Came home to a piping hot meal from the Wolfe family and sugar cookies delivered with a hug and smile from Juliane. My dear friend Marni who did all my laundry, boxed up a ton of the house, and played mom in every way to our zoo. She picked right up where I left-without a question or a moments hesitation. I cried when I saw all she'd done. Can I even give words to how humbling it is have a support group like that? Not very adequately.
Grandma and Grandpa were right by Kayli's side in the hospital and I know it brought her/us so much more peace and security.

2 days of no showers/sleep= we're both getting loopy.

Pastor Ryan, our friend and youth pastor brought a handmade card from the praise team.

Kayli counted up her visitors the first day she was home, and it came to 13.

I'd say you're a loved girl, Miss K.

Uncle Don and Aunt Arlene (visiting from Mont) spoiled Kayli with valentines, treats and xoxo's

Mastins made an entire basket of handmade valentines for Kayli and Brooklyn to bring to school.
And then brought home the class valentines for her.

Grandma and Grandpa brought over goodies on Valentines day/night.

Meghan brought a big, warm meal AND treats, yum!

Uncle Rob, Say and Sutton spoiled Kayli as well.

When Kayli woke up from surgery, she asked for a steak.

I couldn't believe that???!

"A steak, Kayli"? I asked her. She giggled softly, "well it's on the menu".

Also, her surgeon was awesome, funny and compassionate- he also remarked on how tough Kayli is.

"it must be that Montana blood running through her".

AGREED, Doc.

I'd have to agree.

Thankful for answered prayers, healthy family, and a great "net" to catch us when we fall...

turns out it's a pretty fine LOVE day/week afterall.

yes.

2012-02-10T21:10:00.000-08:00

wordless Wednesday/January

2012-02-08T00:02:00.000-08:00

Since it's kind of a fog for me- I went back and looked at some of our January photos and decided I'd better jump at the opportunity to post some of them before Feb fun takes over.

i finally found this vinyl to put in the girls' room - i'm always talking to them about what a "classy" lady is- so it was a perfect fit above their hutch.

I know this a "wordless Wed" post but I couldn't get back online without saying thank you for the support I received after my last post, and privately, off line as well. I'm glad that it helped some ladies out there and it also meant a lot to hear from you as well. I'm very thankful for my "net" of family and friends (and even those I haven't gotten to officially meet :)

Feb is off to a great start and I have a dozen posts in my head I want to write, but for now...here's a glimpse of January at the zoo! More coming up soon... happy LoVe month!

There's our mix of iphone, ipod, and SOOC photos. I know many are blurry, shadowed, over/underexposed, and grainy- but they're a saving grace for me as I try to document our every day @ the wild zoo :)

and they still bring me the same laughs and humbling reminders

that

life is good.

feelings vs faith

2012-01-29T16:41:00.000-08:00

I've had an interesting few weeks around here. Not any that I'd like to repeat any time soon, I might add. I feel like life hit me in both knees (and maybe a knock or two to the head too?)
While I'm trying to see the good in situations, I'd be lying if I said I just glided right through it.

I'm feeling like I'm finally coming out of the tunnel of January. I was thinking how, through these challenges, I repeatedly thought to myself "I do not live by my feelings"... and how thankful I am that I was taught this amazing principal, because I certainly needed to remind myself on a regular basis. I can forget so easily.

I am journaling this on my blog because I strive to record the good AND the challenging in our life. And let me tell you, January provided plenty of chances to stretch my faith. This post is just for me and I debated with whether or not to post. I finally decided to just publish because maybe, possibly- it's something that another mom or person is struggling with- and it may bring them comfort to know they're not alone in it. It feels like such a heavier burden when you believe the lie that you're alone in struggles.

Kayli was super sick. Like more ill than I've ever seen. No other symptoms, just incredibly high fever (103 on meds), complete with middle of the night hallucinations and all-nighters of motrin/tylenol intervals, cool baths. Add in some doctor visits-john working out of state- and Kayli missing an entire week of school- made for a blur of 7 days.
My feelings say that my precious daughter, sick with a high fever for 6.5 days is battling something bigger I can deal with. When a dr. mentions the possibility of viral meningitis it sends chills up my spine. Feelings of fear and anxiety creep in, especially as my sleep takes a major backseat. I am scared. No, terrified would be more accurate. Without ever letting it show on the outside, because afterall I am mom and pillar.
Faith says that God gave us an immune system, able to battle anything. A fever is the way our body is designed to conquer sickness. Faith says I was made and chosen to be Kayli's mother and I am equipped to deal with this with wisdom and comfort her through it. The sickness is under our feet and this too shall pass.

I ended up sick at the dr. (fever and exhausted) during John's 2nd business trip out of state.

Feelings say that I'm always the last on the list. Poor me, I feel invisible (yuck, i hate to admit that)

Faith says I'm wonderfully and fearfully made. Faith says look at your amazing friends who act as family. They brought warm dinner(s) while John was away, babysat our boys during dr. appts and lend full support. Faith says I am blessed beyond any circumstances that are thrown at me.

John has worked more in this season of our marriage than any other. Besides his 70 hours/week he puts in, he added two week-long trips to buy out manufacturers going out of business. All while Kayli was sick -I was sick- and life's busy schedules were piling up out of control.

Feelings say that I'm alone in this. It's always me that's keeping everything together. Will things ever get easier? It's too hard, just give up.
Faith says I'm married to an amazing man who is laying the foundation for incredible success. Faith says to whom much is given, much is expected and we must do things we've never done, in order to get that which we've never had. Faith says John has divine favor in this industry and great opportunities that most do not receive. The big picture is that we are blessed beyond what we ever deserve and these problems are minimal, if not laughable to the world's problems today.

We recently pulled Kyler from his awesome preschool due to tuition $ rises that priced us out.

Feelings say I'm completely inadequate to teach him and challenge his mind at home. How will I find time to do this too? I'm falling further behind by each day that goes by.
Faith says I was chosen for such a time as this and it will be a great opportunity to spend more time stretching Kyler's imagination/mind. Kindergarten is beginning this fall & I will never get this last bit of time back with him. Faith says doors are opening for field trips, outdoor activities and learning to read while Brayden gleans from all of it. My children are my top priority, as I shut the door on the world that pulls for so much time/attention.

I have spent 60+ hours purging my house in the last 3+ weeks (being sick with sick kids). Not my cup of tea. I am finally getting the inside of my home scrubbed out, turning it into something that is conducive to productivity instead of a source of frustration.
Feelings say that the house will always be a wreck and it's impossible to keep a home in order with four young children- and a host of friends who are over. Why do I just spin my wheels? It's a useless effort.
Faith says that perfection is the enemy. It doesn't have to be a spotless home, just one of order. Nicci allowed me to hire her as a clutter buster. My amazing sis Hayley called totally out of the blue and offered to take the boys overnight, thank you answered prayers. I got 12 hours of uninterrupted time to purge/organize my entire kitchen. Any time invested into our home will have a good harvest and bring more order to our days.

I am currently two sessions behind in editing my photography sessions. I can't ever seem to catch up. Forget the clients emails/voicemails that stack up - my computer's photo system just crashed and I can't even access my recent sessions. Off to the mac store to see what they can do.

Feelings say that I will always feel disappointed in my abilities to stay afloat. I will never be able to balance work, family and life. Why do I try?
Faith says that I'm a Prov. 31 woman who is saved by grace. Perfection is a mirage that I don't ever need to achieve. Faith says that I'm enough because of who I am (or rather, who HE is that created me). Achievements or good works mean nothing without peace. Grab ahold of His peace that surpasses understanding and embrace/use the gifts I've been given. Leave unmet expectations in the dust.

I laid down my leadership position in DOD because I couldn't juggle everything for any longer. Hard to do-it's been a huge part of my life for 6 full years. After further discussion with our leader, I decided to return this fall with a different position.

Feelings say that I'm a failure. Look at everyone who can balance way more than me.
Faith says that a wise woman makes decisions that are best for her family-who is her first ministry- yes even before the church . Comparisons steal joy and are not fruitful.

I should mention we're all now in great health and schedules are back on track.
but yes January is a month in which I don't wish to repeat.
And probably won't look back on unless I re-read this post.
.

I can see how women-- especially moms-- fall into a trap of defeat.

I think it's easy to do in the world we live in.

I'm choosing my faith because my "feelings",

well- they sometimes trick me and lead me astray.

And we all have much bigger, better things in store for us, rather than staying stuck in that garbage.

Goodbye, January- you were not a great way to start 2012 and you'll not be missed.

the terrific 2's...

2012-01-20T08:37:00.000-08:00

this morning, 8:00 AM

Brayden: "wheh's (where's) daddy"?

me: work.

Brayden: "wheh"?

me: at the warehouse with mattresses.

Brayden: "oh... ... ... why"?

me: because he needs to work.

Brayden: "why"?

me: because we need to have money.

Brayden: "monnneeee....why"?

me: because we have to eat and drink and stay warm in our house. That takes money. So he goes to work. And he gets money.

Brayden: "oh... oTay"... "I tall (call) him"?

me: ummm, let's wait until closer to lunch, then you can call him.

Brayden: "why"?

me: because he's super busy.

Brayden: "why"? ...

me: HEYYYYYYYYYY, I know... let's go outside and play... and not talk for a few minutes.

Bless his inquisitive, smart personality... this is why my brain can hurt by 11 AM :)

MLK day

2012-01-16T13:02:00.000-08:00

thankful for small reminders.

my week

2012-01-11T23:38:00.001-08:00

I'm certainly "developing" this week, ha!

Trying to keep my humor so I don't drown in life stuff. And my jury summons arrived by mail, as well. Yep, perfect timing =)

the book on parenthood.

2012-01-05T11:55:00.000-08:00

A decade of motherhood.

There is one quote that I can relate to at this moment.

"the days are long but the years are short".

Ten years ago, Kayli came into the world- kicking and screaming and a week "late"...according to the books, the doctor's standards. Should have known I was in trouble then-back on December 28th 2001.

I'd read all the books from A to Z before she was born.

In fact, I recently got a huge laugh at some 2002 video where John was asking "WHAT DOES THE BOOK SAY" relating to some behavior from our firstborn infant.

"well, this wasn't in the book"??

"did the book talk about this...and the book says we should be doing this"?

Oh that blasted book. The parenting book. Where we hoped that all our answers to life could be found.

We poured through that book, stared at that book, memorized that book, lived by that book.

However, the book didn't mention our baby would be up 5 times a night to nurse, how to manage new life with no family/friends, or the fact that you could love someone else so much that your heart might burst. Nope it wasn't in there. We quickly found there was a lot of our life that wasn't in there.

In fact, it became apparent about six months into parenthood that THE BOOK wasn't the answer AT ALL to our mysteries of this journey- much to our dismay and disappointment.. The book ended up being passed along to the next hopeful, expecting mother, looking for "all the answers" :)

Somehow, we managed.

And that baby grew into a toddler.

A happy, beautiful-smiling little ray of sunshine.

She didn't care that her parents didn't have all the answers,

that they'd thrown away "the book".

She didn't care that her mom didn't keep her on a feeding schedule, nursed her on demand, and that her parents kept her up until 10 pm so she could play more with daddy after work. We did our own thing, and it was all "the wrong thing" according to many standards.

This lil toddler kept growing, and changing.

She loved to learn, play outside, and be with her mommy (always).

So much so, that the 4 yr old little girl told her mom she didn't want to enter preschool.

"...beeTuzz...I wanna stay with you" was all she needed to say.

The afternoons were spent swimming, reading, and playing make believe.

No desk time, no structured play.

Again,

not what THE BOOKS say is best for a child preparing for kindergarten.

By this point, the mom was used to hearing it from those who "know best"

and was over the idea.

Soon enough, in the blink of an eye, kindergarten began.

Mommy cried as she signed the papers in the classroom. Her tears spread the ink on the registration forms (no joke there). It was time to let go ... and pray that what had been put into her baby,

was going to be enough.

We've now come to the point of a few more years under our belt.

That little girl is now 3 years from her teens.
How did that fly past us so quickly?

We've dealt with school bullies, tough teachers, best friends who moved away, tight schedules, disappointments, and {very early} peer pressure.

None of which, was in "the book".

There are still more questions than there are answers to this parenthood journey- for us anyway.

Four children into this and I still have very few answers, if any-

I am well aware of how imperfect my kiddos are as well as myself.

Oh yes, I do like to read "the books" on today's issues but I've learned that the final answer isn't found in those pages.

I try not to laugh when I'm asked for advice from new moms. I'm not a wealth of good ideas for them. My advice sounds so trite and kinda cheesy. But here it is: rather than lurking in single spaced words of a page or from the mouths of "experienced mothers", I've learned the BEST advice is within the instincts and heart of ourselves-

-->I know...cheesy. But we're all given "instincts" and many people call that "inner voice" many different things. I've learned, when really searched...the Holy Spirit doesn't lead you astray---> unlike books/advice/media.

The bible is my own guide for life and I'm so guilty of not using it in every situation. I often fall flat on my face. But I still get up. And try again. Every time. And I'm a tenacious bulldog when it comes to my babies. I'm forever a work in progress, just as my parenting is.

I'm thankful for grace. Saved by it.

I hope to give it to others,
as much as I receive it.

And teach our children the gift of grace.

Happy Birthday my love.my beautiful, cherished, precious, amazing TEN year old...

sights from our home to yours...

2011-12-18T22:13:00.000-08:00

it's great to be eight.

2011-12-13T11:50:00.000-08:00

as another year closes,

we celebrate another birthday for our Nooks!

i've still not felt 100% so i told the girls to go ahead and have a couple girls come over to play and then we'd do a big spa birthday in january to celebrate both of their birthdays.

this is what happens when you say "a couple" friends.

FYI

it's a good thing children don't (typically) stress me out.

cuz a dozen (plus my boys) showed up at my door.

Nicci made up fondants, frostings, decorations, zebra cupcakes in pink ruffle liners and brought the cutest toppers she made with her cricut. The girls LOVED decorating!!
We then took 'em all to the park to run off the sugar and get out some giggles.

We arrived home to Brooklyn's requested enchiladas & taquitos I made. She intently listened to the voicemails of happy birthday serenades on my phone. I wish our families were closer!

more sugar.....yummmm...

we had grandma & grandpa merwin, rob & ariana, nicci, and cousins over for cupcakes in addition to our guests.

brooklyn opened her presents and then it was back to running the house. friends had an 8 pm pick up time and cousins stayed later to play.

the next morning we headed to 8 am gymnastics practice.

brooklyn loved having her audience of 5 up in the balcony.

it's tradition that when you're on the gymnastics team, you are asked up to the center mat where your team mates soak the sponges in water & chalk 'em up...

in order to NAIL the birthday girl!

for some reason, this is a real treat :)

brooklyn passed out more cupcakes to her team mates

and coaches. We then took our 'lil chalked mess to fuddruckers for lunch.

where we ran into uncle chuck and aunt hayley with their crew! they had to miss the night earlier because of fevers so it was funny to coincidentally choose the same restaurant to dine.

that evening, we decided for a super last minute birthday session. in fact, it was so last minute that we only got the last 10 minutes before sunset.

i had so much more i was wanting to get so we're going to drive back out to the cotton fields another day.

brooklyn,

i look at you and cannot believe how fast you're growing up.

you've turned into this kind, sweet helpful girl with a spark, determination and humor that is your trademark. i'm so thankful for you and proud to be your mom.

8 years earlier to the day this photo was taken ...

i had no idea the challenges, exhaustion and the joy that would await in caring for & raising two babies that were less than two years apart.

but
what a journey it's been.
Seeing our family today as a whole, it makes sense

and i see it was all in "perfect" timing.

you are so loved miss brooklyn.

Our Polar Express 2011

2011-12-07T13:41:00.000-08:00

We packed up the car full of luggage, warm clothes, cozy hats and oh yeah, the kids...and headed north to Williams, AZ.

The plan?

To visit the North Pole

Polar Express! It was a trip anticipated for many years and we finally made it happen this Christmas.

We had harrowing snow, icy freeway the last hour + of the trip so we spent the entire afternoon in the car...

By the time we arrived, the kids were LiTeRaLLy swinging from the hotel room ceiling :)

We stayed at the historic lodge at polar express train station. We could look outside our hotel room and see the replica of the north pole, complete with villages and the infamous black train-it just added to the ambiance of "the polar express" set.

Once we checked in, we headed to the train depot's buffet which provided us with

every comfort food imaginable. The staff was amazing, friendly and so much fun. It truly is a magical place at Polar Express, felt like a version of disneyland-with no detail overlooked.

Kyler drank his hot cocoa, made best friends with the waitress and and watched the trains run around the lodge's perimeter. We grazed off the endless trimmings of the buffet.

After dinner, we grabbed our tickets and headed on board THE POLAR EXPRESS!!!

The train ride plays out EXACTLY as the book/movie...

Cookies, hot cocoa is served by the chef,

Kayli & Brooklyn fought over WHO got to sit next to Brayden. He was a riot the entire trip. Totally into every detail of the polar express! We didn't stop laughing at his 'lil antics.

We passed through a tunnel "time warp" of lights in order to get us to the north pole fAsTeR...

Once there, the polar express book was read

...and sure enough, soon the polar express slowed... the

black sky began to fill with twinkling lights and the magic began.

I loved hearing the train full of kiddos as they gasped and squealed

waiting and hoping for just a glimpse of the man in the red suit.

Sure enough, HO HO HO could be heard... and there was a wave of giggles on the train.

Watching the faces of these kiddos was the BEST part of the whole experience.

Nothing better!

However, soon we circled around the north pole and santa disappeared from site. The engineer of the train suggested that we sing carols because santa loves Christmas songs- maybe it would persuade him to jump aboard?

And so the kiddos sang

carol after carol (this is where a couple boys began to fade :)

Scratch head- Insert finger.

However, the back door of our train burst open

and who should be walking through but

SANTA himself!

And just as the story read,

santa handed each of the passengers a heavy, solid silver bell.

He asked each of us what we wanted for Christmas...

And said 3 words to Kyler that he'll never forget:

I'm

watching

you.

hahahahaha!!

Couldn't have spoken 3 more powerful words than that!

Loved it!

We left the train, all full of smiles...

and walking into PILES of snow falling!

It was a perfect way to end

a great night together.

I love seeing our phoenix kids get a "taste" (literally) of snow.

They saw the snow fall and immediately tilted their heads back with tongues wagging. So funny!

It felt like we were on the set of a movie...

So surreal!

And Bray could NOT figure out what the heck this cold, white stuff was...

and why he couldn't get his feet to warm up?!

The next morning our early birds (Brayden & Brooklyn) were up at the crack of dawn.

Brayden sat perched on the windowsill -like a bird- forever,

just watching the snow fall and all the families having snow ball fights across the street at polar express.

We had a hot breakfast in our room and soaked up the great feeling of being toasty warm with blankets of snow on the outside.

After breakfast, we headed to the hot tub and pool.

The kiddos got out some energy with their daddy and I packed everything but the sink back up :)

We got in one more hour of snow fun...

...a few more snowball fights

warmed up/thawed out in the

lodge's huge fire pit

and then hit the road again for phoenix.

We've been asked if it's worth the drive,

and I would give a reSoUndiNg yes!!

(even with Kyler's fever & Bray's fire red eyes...)

It was an amazing trip.

christmas bloopers

2011-11-30T21:51:00.000-08:00

Christmas season is in full swing these days!

We started the week with a fun, hilarious, much-anticipated

annual Christmas party with the S. family and friends.

They host this every year, complete with gag gifts,

amazing food and the funnest (I know that's not a word) peeps!

It's 11 pm when this was taken, and it appears my eyes have nearly swollen shut :)
We arrived home at nearly midnight - I had to pry myself out of bed in the morning.

Bright and early Sunday, the kiddos were begging- pleading to begin decorating the house.

The holiday music was playing, hot cocoa on the table, the pine candles were lit...the atmosphere was set!

So here's where the magic of Christmas turned into a bad comedy scene.

You view all of the photos posted and your mind probably runs through pleasant memories of tree decorating, laughter- an atmosphere of "magic"???

Truth be told, John was sick & coughing up a lung- I was running a fever. I had toilet paper jammed into both nostrils trying desperately to be productive (photo op, anyone?).

We threw 37 totes of decor down from the attic while I mumbled & grumbled. It was glorious.

The kids were exhausted from staying up so late/Thanksgiving celebrations. They were fighting & whining, I was shaking under a blanket trying to break a fever and dad was ... umm, where IS daddy? Arggg.

They were all so excited as they'd pull out each ornament and remember the details of where it came from, ect. I think I stared at the wall for 8 solid minutes in a holiday stupor. I was abruptly interrupted by a scowling nine year old with her hands on her hips.

Kayli matter-of-factly informed me (as I lay under the blanket, curled in a ball) that when I am busy doing something else, I AlWaYs give her a general answer/reply of "ohhh wow that's awWwesome"-

Good to be ~~kicked when I'm down~~
enlightened
on how I can be a better mom. I will work on that. Tomorrow.

Anyway, {Freddy} is back in the home, which should curb any major behavior issues and put a bandaid on my 2012 resolution to find more effective discipline tactics with the zoo.

soOo - just 'bein honest about daily life...

Happy holiday season...

even if your "behind the scenes"

aren't as magical as YoU had planned !!

Happy Thanksgiving 2011

2011-11-25T13:34:00.000-08:00

The countdown has been on for weeks!

The magic is in the air with the holidays here.

Which means great food, tons of family time, and fun traditions

We tried a new recipe for assembling a

"fruit gobbler" using a honeydew melon, bell pepper and assorted fruit & cheese kabobs.

It was a huge success and the kiddos LOVED making it.

Grandma Paulette hosted Thanksgiving and did the entire (delicious!) meal. She is an awesome cook.

We contributed a few appetizers/side -but THIS year I had kitchen elves helping me with all of it,

which is so nice and another perk of older babes!

One of the best parts of the Thanksgiving holiday was having Aunt Marnie & Uncle Matt fly into town with Katelyn and Izzy. I'm telling you these cousins are thrilled beyond words to be reunited- and so are the rest of us to be together again. Makes for an amazing holiday!

Uncle Chuck and Aunt Hayley (with Logan and Landon) joined us. Landon is head over heels in love with Brooklyn. I mean he takes one look at her and starts laughing, cooing, and grinning. She loves it as much as he does :)

Uncle Robbie brought Saylor & Sutton for the day-(Ariana & girls were in Tucson). This was the first Thanksgiving that Kyler and Sutton were buddies. Kyler's finally able to "keep up with the big guys". And with only 3 grandsons and 8 grandaughters... these poor boys really should stick close, ha!

Sutton grabbed a turkey leg and headed back into the pool to eat his "dinner"...only in AZ, folks! Still seems funny to have an 80 degree Thanksgiving dinner by the pool.

The girls all had soo much fun. Coloring, talent show (even us aunts wearing 90's prom dresses participated in that one!) and playing games. The giggles never end.

and let's not forget ALL that swimming!!
...and a quick holiday session in grandma's front yard :)

Life is good and we are thankful for every last bit of it.

Overjoyed that we can spend days on end with our extended family, if only for a season- we just enjoy each other's company and our time together. It is precious to each of us-and for that, I am so very grateful.

fall break 2011

2011-11-17T08:13:00.000-08:00

Our kids have a lot of "Montana blood" passed down to them-

they love cool weather, playing in nature, getting dirty. They'll stay outdoors until I drag them in.

...

Because our school's fall break feels more like a scorching summer,

we flew back to Sundance for a week of paradise (ie: being outside)

John had work to do with the Utah mattress stores

so we went on nature walks and relaxed.

They were in all their glory being able to play outside again!

Our kids have such great memories from last year when we went to Sundance.

We stayed in the same cabin and soaked up the ambiance of the season.

Corn Belly's was the kids favorite spot to play last year so we headed back and again, it didn't disappoint. Corn maze, yummy food, games, pumpkin patch and more.

Brayden is not one to be left behind anymore,

so he was game for the face painting this year :)

Mornings were unrushed and easy- our favorite kind.

Our friend Niki and her beautiful kiddos drove up to Sundance to spend the day with us. We had a great time over lunch and lots of laughter. She took my zoo out for photos and I took hers, it was great! Niki is an amazing photographer, look her up if you're in Utah!

Soon the 3 girlies wrote, rehearsed and performed a play while 3 boys ran free outdoors in the crunching leaves and dirt piles. Niki and I talked photography and more- I know our fun rivaled our kiddos :)

Once John finished his work, we ventured out of Sundance again.

We decided to try the top of the mountain.

It was a gorgeous cool day with lots of sunshine and we spent the entire afternoon there.

Last year I did Kyler's birthday photos in Sundance,

so I decided to take the opportunity again. We had a lot of fun running the trails and convincing him that a session for boys is not "girly"... :)

All of the photos in this post are UNedited, straight out of the camera. I planned on editing them but I never made it there- so here we go... they're good enough.

Daddy got his afternoon naps with Brayden, I don't know who was more thrilled to have a nap partner to cuddle with :)

love both of their sleepy eyes :)

Passing by the mountains, Kyler said "WOW, God sure did a good job on these mountains, didn't he mom"?

I love getting the "re-focus" my kids give me throughout the day.

Priceless.

Niki recommended this place and it was AWESOME!!! Fire dancing, live divers, cool atmosphere for kids and adults! Everyone but Brayden was thoroughly entertained (the music creeped him out).

Back home,

we enjoyed the fires daddy built and marshmallow roasting with smores.

Our family makes the best memories at this place - my favorite part is no cell phones, chores, or schedules.

Truly a fall "break" !!

good things come in THREE's...

2011-11-15T13:47:00.000-08:00

1.)

Happy birthday to my beautiful, smart, talented

niece Marriah!

I cannot believe it's been 18 years since I stood outside the labor/delivery room, waiting to hear her cries.

Melissa and Roy were beyond thrilled, as was the rest of our family- when Marriah made it into the world safely.
18 years ago tonight.

I truly have to give Melissa & Roy a pat on the back for the daughter that they have raised.

Melissa was a senior in high school when Marriah was born in 1993. Despite housework, diapers & sleepless nights, she graduated valedictorian of her class. She then continued on to get perfect grades in college. She was and always has been an amazing person, an overcomer. Melissa is stronger, better, and inspiring beyond what she ever gives herself credit for.

The world tries to pull and sway but Roy and Melissa are solid and unmoved through 18+ years of marriage.

They will give God all the glory for that.

They are not your "traditional" family - they embrace it and move on.

You want to see two people who have laid down their own life for others, here you have it. No one has ever rushed in to "save them" all of these years - here's 2 kids who made a choice. They pulled themselves up by their boot straps and took life by the horns. They're the first to admit mistakes and their drive for life is contagious.

Their faith and perseverance truly inspires me to be better.

Live selflessly.

See the big picture of my family's legacy.

Their family consists of 9 children presently.

Foster parenting that brings children in when they are needing a solid rock to stand on, two children they've been blessed with from adoption, and five biological children.

When I see my niece today (president of the entire high school, honors student (she's in the top 3% of the nation for SAT scores) active/successful ...loving - kind- generous in eVeRy situation) I think of this poem:

Children Learn What They Live

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn . . .
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight . . .
If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive . . .
If a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself . . .
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy . . .
If a child lives with jealousy, he learns to feel guilt . . .

BUT

If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient . . .
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns to be confident . . .
If a child lives with praise, he learns to be appreciative . . .
If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love . .

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves..
If a child lives with honesty, he learns what truth is . . .
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice . . .
If children live with recognition, they learn to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn to be generous.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself and those about him . . .
If a child lives with friendliness, he learns the world is a nice place in which to live . . .

2).

Happy 8th birthday to my fun, hilarious, wild, adorable nephew <3

Brooklyn & Sutton 2004

You always bring the laughter to any get together!!!

Driving everyone to school this morning, I was listing off all three birthdays that are today.

3).

Lastly I said "there's great grandma Ginny
who
gets to have her birthday today in heaven"

To which Kyler yells from his carseat in the back

"COOL, a birthday WITH JESUS"!!!!!

And yet once again, I learn from my kids what
Living
(not just speaking, hearing or reading)
your faith truly means.
Living your faith.

a five year old me.

ie:
excitement and joy when there would otherwise be sadness.
:)

monkey business

2011-11-09T17:52:00.000-08:00

is it normal to glance over and see your 7 year old at the top of a stop sign?

11-9-11
at our neighborhood hangout.

Or find her swinging {with a huge grin} from the top of the park's huge swing set?

Thankfully I left behind the concerns of "normal"
back ummm...
two children ago :)
.
{Leaves a lot more
energy for having fun}

kids spell love

2011-11-08T09:06:00.000-08:00

we can really relate to that

quote

"children spell LOVE

T-I-M-E"...

My parents were in town a couple weeks ago and we all look forward to them coming so much. Our kiddos finally get that grandparent time they crave so much! Grandma and grandpa dived right into swim classes,

participating in Kyler's preschool class,

watching Brooklyn's gymnastics classes

and even Kyler's

Saturday morning soccer game.

They get in all the laughs, fun, and challenges...

and make many memories that our kids talk about all year long.

It's priceless to our kiddos and I know to them as well.

Thank you grandma and grandpa for spending time

with us and making ALL your grandchildren feel so special!

YOU ARE ARE LOVED AND MISSED.

the annual photo session

2011-11-07T13:05:00.000-08:00

snuck up on us again.

This is the 4th year that Andrea Whittle has taken our family's holiday portraits. Each time, I find myself scrambling to pull together a semi "coordinated" photo of our wild zoo. And every year, I wonder if this will be the session that it "gets easier" in photographing 6 of us?

For the record,

2011 was still not our year :)

I don't care how inconvenient, busy, or crazy it is tho...I'd wouldn't trade the photos Andrea has given us for anything.

inspiration from Pinterest.

To view her amazing work and our slideshow/photos, visit

HERE.

thanks Andrea, we appreciate your talent so much!

No tricks, just treats please!

2011-10-31T13:34:00.000-07:00

From our neighborhood

to yours,

We hope you have a very

safe and

first day of year FIVE.

2011-10-27T17:17:00.000-07:00

Kyler, your love language is definitely quality time.

So I made sure your birthday included an ENTIRE day of it,

start to finish!

`I woke you up for school at 7 AM, surprised you

with fresh "bone" treats (breadsticks) and "apple smiles" (diced apples with almond teeth) for you to bring in as your preK birthday snack. They won't allow sugar/cake so google came up with this for me to create.

I want you to know that this is how you are when awoken from slumber, every single day. Lovely, isn't it?

Not a morning bird, by any stretch of the imagination.

Kayli made you a sign and unfortunately the sun is barely up before we're all heading to school each day- so this pic is dark!

I spent the entire 3 hours in your class (thanks Nicci for playing with Brayden!). I am shocked at what you learn in just one morning of preschool.

Your teacher, Miss L, says you're doing great at preK.

"every day is a good day for Kyler...

does he ever have a bad day?" she asked me.

I told her you save them just for mommy :) J/K

Your classmates all made you a card with their thumbprints and signatures.

You were soo happy to have me in your class.

You loved to show me every station and introduce me to your buddies.

Your teacher does such a good job of documenting everything with you and your classmates. I'm awed at how meticulously everything is planned out and introduced.

Miss L. even posters the wall anytime a student says something extra cute. I'm always laughing at the updates.

Even the classroom hamster is a dandy!

I heard ALL about the germ experiment, as you grow/study the germs you've swabbed and placed in petri dishes. You went straight home and washed your hands that 1st day, haha! Mission accomplished for teacher?

You've been learning about food groups in circle time.

Miss L: Kyler, name one food from one of our 4 food groups.

Kyler: chicken.

Miss L: what food group does that belong to?

Classmate: McDONALDS!!!!

Even recess is a learning experiment where you grow flowers, herbs and build castles.

Every day you come home and you have learned something new. The first week you were counting to 10 in spanish and doing sign language. For some reason, your teacher can get through to you way quicker than your mama?

You have a few kiddos that stick very close to you and love to play with you, I'm told. I am sooo happy with your choice of friends!

Snack time everyone enjoyed our bone breadsticks and apple smiles. They sang happy birthday and did sign language.

Miss L. periodically speaks to you in spanish and you understand/speak way more than I do (not that it takes a lot)!

I estimate by the time you reach 7, you should be smarter than me, ha!

Following preschool, we headed to sonic with Joshua.
No birthday is complete without time with your bestie and next door neighbor! He gave you this adorable card and you beamed.

Conversation in the car that day:

Kyler: how long have I knowed Joshua?

Mom: Since he was in his mommy's belly and you were just a little baby....

Kyler: Did you used to put us in the same baby stroller when we were babies?

Mom: Yes, we sure did!

Kyler: So THAT'S why I love Joshua soOoo much!!

I took you boys to the kids art museum and man oh man did you have a great time! So did I.

We spent the entire afternoon playing, crafting, using our imaginations, learning about animation, and building towers.

We arrived home just in time to decorate your cupcakes with Nicci (who let you design and help with the cupcakes she made for you).

It was then time to join our friends at amazing jakes, the indoor theme park that you love so much!

You had to cover your ears the serenade was so loud :)

You are loved, little man!

You hit the jackpot with nerf guns, remote car, night vision head gear, games and gift certificates to your favorite places.

You were one happy camper.

Marni searched the world over for a whackAmo tower you wanted- she is the busiest lady I know but still cares enough to want your birthday extra special!

Birthday traditions at our home always include getting to sleep in mom/dad's room. It is anticipated ALLLLL year by each of you and that is no stretch!

this is how I was greeted as I entered my bedroom.

After we all arrived home, you tore into presents. Showered, buttoned up your jammies and snuggled up to mom under the covers.

Daddy showered and when he came back in, he said you and I were fast asleep- your head gear still on full beam.

What a fun day, my 'lil man.

I cherish my time with you.
Never has five years passed by so quickly.

our family's StrEsS FrEe ChRiStMaS!

2011-10-23T11:35:00.000-07:00

I've been planning on participating in this for a long time- but finally all the stars aligned and I know this is the year it's time to start following this guideline/planner.

I despise feeling rushed, I can't stand bustling past "teachable moments" in the holiday season because I'm trying to cross off things from my list. I'll be able to help wAy more people this year -and not be distracted by my own busy schedule.

I want our kiddos to look back at Christmas and remember their mom being relaxed and happy. If you are like me -in that you try to cram way too much into far too little of a calendar space - join me on this. Free printable checklists, ideas for gifting, traditions, and reminders to see the big picture/not be fussy about unimportant details. It's all free and the best part...

The countdown starts

TODAY!

Kyler turns 5!

2011-10-19T11:23:00.000-07:00

October 19, 2006.

I am NOT liking the birthdays around here- they come up too fast and I am never ready to wrap my mind around you being a year older.

October 2011

just hours old- everyone couldn't wait to get to the hospital to see what a merwin BOY would look like!

...five years later and here we can't even remember what life was like without you.

You have more personality than can be contained in your little body!

"boom, it's my birthday"

We have a VeRy full, FUN day planned for you little man.

LOVE to celebrate you, mister Ky.

two and a half.

2011-10-11T00:02:00.000-07:00

thank you grandma Paulette for the matching halloween PJ's!!

Brayden,

you are two and a half today!

What are you up to?

You wear a solid 2T (sometimes 3T in shirts) clothing.

You started swim lessons last week and told your instructor that you didn't know how to blow bubbles in the water and did not like to swim. In reality, you daily swim across/under our entire pool (without a life jacket) and are totally and completely fearless in the water.

I put you in the class only to give you something that only YOU do independently- without your siblings or me beside you. You may have won that battle but not the war :) we'll keep going...

You are 100% potty trained (I do make you wear a pull-up at nighttime but no accidents yet).

Your bedtime is 8 pm and you wake at around 7. Now that you're toilet trained, however, you sometimes get up earlier because you need to go potty.

Your afternoon nap is from 1-2:30 (or 3).

You don't like to watch T.V but every afternoon you ask to start the "choo choo" show (chuggington) and you play trains while it's on.

Your sisters think you're the moon and the stars. Kayli calls you "the jewel of our family"... they giggle and laugh at absolutely everything you do- naughty or nice.

You talk in sentences- mostly 4-5 words.

You hear from your sisters "Brayden, you are soOo cute" probably no less than a dozen times a day.

When you wake from your nap, the first question is always "is sissy home yet"?

Your favorite thing to say is "OH YEAH, I WIN"...with your arms shot straight up into the air with a huge smile. Could be kneading play-do, playing Ipad, making cupcakes...

Doesn't matter if it's just you playing alone, I might add- it's still "I win".

You DAILY ask for pizza & pop. It's rare that you actually get that, but it never fails that you'll ask me every day for it.

Every night, you say "no mommy, daddy bed me" because you don't want me getting you ready for bed anymore. you've totally become a daddy's boy. You want to be with him 24/7. And because he knows how fleeting this time is, he revels in it as much as you do. It's so funny to watch you both together. LOVE.

You and Kyler have become best friends. Oh you fight like the best of 'em (which I'm told is normal for brothers?) but you both miss each other like crazy when you're apart. The 3 hours of Kyler's preK is torture for you-apparently I'm not nearly as fun as him?

Kyler nearly came uncorked on a (5 yr old?) boy at the park for shoving you over, into the sand... I don't often see Kyler get angry but he sure did when he saw you get bullied. I thought he was gonna clean that brat's clock. Instead, he stormed over to the boy's mother and told her "your boy pushed my baby down!! I'm gonna forgive him one time" (pointing his finger at her) and then marched over and picked you up/brushed the sand off of you.

Brayden,

I've never seen another quite like you, little one.

You're loved a little.

Just in case you can't tell :)

Happy 2 and a half!

comments

2011-10-10T22:46:00.000-07:00

okay so I know a few of you noticed that I'd taken the "comment option" off the blog a couple months ago & asked what's going on. The reason was that I'd gotten some anonymous comments that were kinda bizarre & questionable. Nearly everyone who follows this blog just texts/emails me anyway regarding the content-they rarely post comments online. So I just removed the comment option until I decided anything further. But I do like to have the comment option on - plus it's fun to hear from new (cool!) peeps...

so I think I got it figured out on how to comment with the (slightly annoying) word verification on :)

This blog is just a way to document and preserve our family's memories-and put my thoughts on paper, so someday I can look back at them (since it's not uncommon that I don't remember my thoughts an hour ago).
So be kind "anonymous"... or move along.

...Happy Blogging!

last week

2011-10-07T23:31:00.000-07:00

My last week could probably be summed up with this ONE photo:

I was actually googling symptoms of mono. I'm not even kidding. John felt the same way- we could barely. put. one. foot. in. front. of. the. other.

But the kiddos? Oh they had tons of energy, haha! No worries there :)

It took us 2 HOURS to get ourselves going and ready for a birthday party last weekend.

Forget that we had 8 am gymnastics, 9 am soccer, a 2nd birthday party, and another evening BBQ we'd already committed to weeks prior. Occasionally, we just have days like that - and we mostly seem to roll with the punches-keep going, not giving it much thought.

But not last week.

Last week

I was a whiney, tired, mess of a mama.

Running on empty.

Feeling sorry for myself - that I'm the one who takes care of everyone...and every problem that ever arises- my responsibility or not. Why me, and who ever helps me? When is it going to get easier? Tired. I really miss my mom. Why does my laundry/housework pile up in a millisecond, is that pee or apple juice on the floor? who's fighting now- something just broke into a million pieces in the other room, oh no I forgot to pack lunches again, what is the matter with me? blah...blah...blah... yada yada yada. I can't stand that- even when it comes from my own "poor me, pitiful voice" that was trying to make itself in charge.

yuck.

it seems a lot of our friends/neighbors/classmates had some sort of virus so I'm wondering if we weren't fighting something off too- I am sure I looked just like the cartoon lady at the top...

I know I FELT like it- I was just putting one foot in front of the other. Just going through the motions...but that's no way to live. And I'm sure I wasn't a bright ray of sunshine to be around, haha!

Glad for the "reset" button that not only applies to DAYS

but to my whole WEEK. I needed it desperately.

Happy it's over and ready for an amazing weekend

where one of my best girlfriends gets married

and I get to spend an entire week with my 4 kiddos (FALL BREAK!)

We're off to a great start with a halloween party, shopping, and sleepover.

Did I mention it was 75 degrees here???

autumn candles are glowing...

Life is good.

And my eyes are finally clear (and open!) to seeing that.
Perspective (or the change of)
is a mighty powerful thing, I tell you.

Happy Birthday to our darling 'lil niece Lila.

She turned 3 and I can hardly believe it.

We had a lot of fun playing with her yesterday and taking birthday photos too.

She and Brayden are so cute together.

I think they love each other? haha!

We love you Lila !!!

...my olympic swimmer?

2011-10-05T10:56:00.000-07:00

...sorry

there will still be a next time, Bray.

PROOF

2011-10-04T15:21:00.000-07:00

that even super heroes

can be bribed for a photo

by their mommy.

october 2011

Joyce Meyer conference 2011

2011-10-03T11:56:00.000-07:00

Kyler: "mommy, why are you going to fly to see her if you can see her on TV

eVeRy DaY?"

She's the "oprah" of our house.

And heck yeah I'd fly all the way to Missouri to experience her teachings in person, even if just for a couple days!

Joyce speaks candidly from my television screen each & every early morning as I fold clothes, pick up toys, tidy up, and chase my toddler.

She tells it like it is- doesn't sugar coat, or play patty cake with the truth of the Word.

I don't have a lot of time and I like to hear someone who will just be real and guide me in applying scripture to my every day life and issues. Sometimes I get my rear kicked all over the place, and I'm always grateful and better off. I have a hard head and need daily reminders, apparently.

My dear friend Nicci arranged & blessed me with this entire trip/accomodations, way back in April (as my birthday gift!. After years of wanting to attend, I couldn't believe that I was finally going to a Joyce Meyer women's conference. It felt like my leg or arm was missing as I flew out/travelled with Nicci... I told her this must be what valium feels like :) not a care in the world- no one needing a bathroom, a drink, or a diaper change?? It was crazy, in a tranquil/serene sorta way!

The

atmosphere

weather (oh the WEATHER!)

accommodations

inspiration

music

resources

encouragement

fellow women

speakers

shopping

girl talk

revelation

It could all be summed up in one word.

DIVINE.

I wonder what my chances are of hitting this conference

two years in a row?
...and meeting up with any of you?!

Closing the chapter...

2011-09-30T13:51:00.000-07:00

on babyhood for our family.

I've officially purchased my last package of diapers.
I now spend my errands in public restrooms, with this "view from the top"

I become a total germ-a-phob when my babies are on public toilets, just sayin...

*****

Brayden potty trained himself (much to his mother's dismay) last month.

Won't wear a diaper to save his life.

Flat refuses (just like his siblings did with me).

Don't ask me my "method" - I do not, and have never potty-trained our children.
got nothin'

apparently "dumb luck", four times over.

They each decided they'd had enough with diapers & made it clear to their momma (who made it obvious that if they refused the diaper- she wouldn't be cleaning out dirty underwear-they'd be back to the pampers... I know, harsh but true).
They always agreed wholeheartedly.
(girls were 23 months- boys were both nearly 2 1/2).

I was pouring over old photos to post and got a little sentimental here- the kiddos are all growing so fast. I thought about how surreal it is that Brayden is the last of our babies - and while I do not have that "baby itch" that many women get... I DO occasionally find myself wanting MY oWn children to be babies again- which clearly is possible, right? {{rolling eyes}}

I don't spend much time dwelling there - I know our family is the perfect size for us and we have exactly who we're supposed to have - no more, no less.

As I poured through the (nearly decade of) photos, I couldn't find any from our family vacations/memories that is missing a baby from it. I saw photos of recitals (above), lessons, plays, dances, carpools, practices, ect and there's always one of our babies perched on my/John's lap-along for the experience, always in tow.

We couldn't even find a babysitter until 7 years into parenthood and Brayden was over a year old/weaned.

And now...

I hesitate to use the word "easy" but it's certainly smoother in traveling, driving, and vacationing. I laughed looking back at our 10 year wedding anniversary (above). John surprised me with a weekend in San Francisco. However, Brayden was only 4 months old and we weren't about to leave him as a newborn. So...along he goes for the trip. Pretty romantic, eh? That's kinda been the mantra for one whole decade of our marriage.

Not too luxurious or spontaneous. And we wouldn't change our investment for the world.

I'd be lying if I said it's always been easy - in my opinion, I give up "convenience" when we bring a baby into the world. But I also know that all of the energy, time, work, devotion pays off in more ways than we ever imagined.

Kayli/Brayden (one week old) watching cartoons

At breakfast this morning, once again, Kayli brought up getting "just one more" (new baby, that is).

"it would make me soo happy mom. I'm not asking for mOrE than oNe baby, either. Just one - and I don't even care if it's a boy".

(As both of her brothers look at her puzzled)

Hopefully this won't be an ongoing conversation with her...

"Sorry Kayli, that (sweet, amazing) chapter is closing".

kayli

Time to embark on our new one.

that time of year

2011-09-28T15:25:00.000-07:00

yes, i can still see you on the counter, mr. bray

to bury our heads in the ~~candy~~ sand

-toss "moderation" to the wind-

j/k

and enjoy every morsel of holiday candy, cookin' and treats!

The neighbors are all baking again- that's how we know that these temps are getting old {for all of us} and we're chompin' at the bit for some cooler weather (103 tomo).

This batch 'o pumpkin cookies made it a record 20 minutes in our home(for the record, we DiD share the love with our neighbor friends tho, ahemm!)

yummO.... the house smells like heaven. Bring on Fall!

Recipe HERE.

happy, happy 3rd birthday today

to our sweet nephew 'lil Logie Bear!

AKA "Brayden's bestie"

you are growing up too fast.

we love you.

now get on back to auntie's house- quick!

a good reminder for me...

2011-09-25T16:45:00.000-07:00

A Loving Mother.

If I talk to my children about what is right and what is wrong, but I have not love, I am like a ringing doorbell or pots banging in the kitchen. And though I know what stages they will go through, and understanding their growing pains, and can answer all their questions about life, and believe myself to be a devoted mother, but I have not love, I have nothing.

If I give up the fulfillment of a career to be a mother at home, and stay up all night sewing costumes or baking cookies at short notice, but grumble about lack of sleep, I have not love and accomplish nothing.

A loving mother is patient with her children's immaturity and kind even when they are not; a loving mother is not jealous of their youth nor does she hold it over their heads whenever she has sacrificed for them.

A loving mother believes in her children; she hopes in each one's individual ability to stand out as a light in a dark world; she endures every backache and hearthache to accomplish that.

A loving mother never really dies. As for home-baked bread, it will be consumed and forgotten: as for spotless floors, they will soon gather dust and heel marks. As for children, right now toys, friends and food are all-important to them. But when they grow up, it will be their mother's love that they will remember and pass on to others. In that way, she will live on.

So care, training and a loving mother reside in a home, these three but the greatest of these is a loving mother.

Author Unknown.

a mother's pride

2011-09-14T16:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday,
I saw a fellow blogger posting a video of her darling young daughter singing a new melody fluently in Japanese.

And I felt-it was only right- that I should post a video of the song that my endearing son brought home from his preschool. He not only has this engrained by memory- but has passed the love of this song onto friends, family, and even passerbyers of the stores we frequent...oh yes, it's that lovely.

I hereby give you, the eloquent and memorable rendition that we simply call...

"the booger song"

to pause music, push || button on right side of blog
--------->

let's google that

2011-09-14T07:06:00.000-07:00

We were just laughing the other day about how, when Kayli was in the first grade, her classmates would send her home to google things for them. I'd find her googling "is the tooth fairy real", "where do fairies live", ect... Kayli would then report back to her friends with the answer the next day.

It was all cute and fun until I realized there was inappropriate content under seemingly innocent searches. So we made a new rule that no one was allowed to "google" unless mom or dad is right there.

Fast forward a few years, we still use google all the time for everything.

Brooklyn came rushing in from outside this week exclaiming

"mom I think I found a cougar spider outside"!!!

I asked her what the heck a cougar spider is and I hoped we didn't have those in addition to black widows and scorpions?!

I vaguely heard her say she was going to "google that" as she sat down at our computer...

Next thing I hear is

"let's see... how do I spell

COUGAR

C..O...U...G..."

Then it dawned on me..

I felt like I was running in slow motion to get to that computer.

"NooOoo BrooklynnNnnnn"

Good grief.

you better bring your A game

to raise kids today.

9.11.01

2011-09-12T14:47:00.001-07:00

It's surreal how one morning, in a city across the country, can change the course of our entire nation.

I can still remember exactly where I was (driving) as I heard the news of the plane hitting the first tower. I thought the radio show was discussing a movie. So I turned the station to another. I remember being annoyed at movie reviews that early in the morning?

Turned it another radio station. Same reports...

SlowWwly and painfully, that ton of bricks

hit me that it's actually our own news broadcasting .

The feeling of panic that this was really happening...

"WHAT is going on, this doesn't happen in the UNITED STATES of AMERICA"? They spoke of people jumping to their death (200 in all) to avoid the smoke, fire and collapse of the towers. Also, false reports were coming in that a school had now been taken hostage - which almost sent me right over the edge of hysteria.

It started to sink it. I could see my hands shaking and feel my heart racing...I instantly worried about my family/friends.

Fighting back a ton of emotions.

I drove straight home, forgetting all that I planned on getting done that morning. Honestly, I entertained the thought that the world was ending.

I knew that as US citizens, we would never, ever be the same.

Would our comfort of safety ever be the same as well?

I remember getting home and running upstairs to tell John about the first two towers being hit...

and as we turned the TV on, the pentagon was bombed by another plane.

Soon, news of a 4th plane that had been hiijacked/went down in Pennsylvania was coming in. Passengers refused to be overpowered by the violent terrorists and gave their lives to stop the terrorist's plan of attack.
I sobbed as John sat stunned, rubbing my back and reassuring me everything would be ok.

Nearly 3,000 people had been killed in these separate attacks.

in one morning.

It was like a horrible movie that played in my head and heart,

long after the television was turned off. I was haunted by every image-especially as I tried to fall asleep at night.

Not far from our home, the first of 9.11 backlash crimes began (by uneducated people

looking for revenge).

Balbir Singh Sodhi was shot and killed outside of his Mesa, Arizona gas station by a man who thought Sodhi was muslim. Muslims were not behind 9.11. It was a horrible and unfair crime that started a domino effect in other places- I began to get fearful in my day to day schedule. Then the anthrax threats began- remember those?- I wanted to sell our house and move to Montana, where surely we'd be safer?

Six+ months pregnant, I could feel Kayli kicking and squirming inside of me...

and I recall moments of extreme guilt- for bringing her into

such a scary, violent world. What would all this mean for our child?

--------------

And with 10 years marking the anniversary of 9.11.01-

A day that was initially meant for evil-

we now know

that day also brought out the courage and the good in people.

It brought a country together - and united us against this act of war that played out before our very eyes.

Things haven't ever been the same-that's true.

I thought of all the victims and prayed for their families yesterday.

You know who else was heavy on my heart?

Our military and their families.

I posted this photo that I took back in April of baby R. (my cousin's little one). She's tenderly giving her daddy a "kiss goodnight" as he serves overseas in our military. She hasn't planted a real kiss on her daddy since April.
How many memories have you been privileged to make with your children since April?

It puts life in perspective, to have reminders like this.

Thank you isn't adequate for our military and their families who sacrifice every day for us. Thank you seems trite for those who have risked it all and given up time away from those they love to fight for our country. I hope you'll remember and pay respect to them.

I do know there are many more good people, than bad. The latter just get a lot more attention, is all.

I also know that where you let your thoughts/attitude wander,

so follows your children's.
That's pretty inspiring for me, right there.

So if I choose to acknowledge good, give generously where we can, respect those that have different beliefs, and teach our children what it means to serve with faith - I'll be happy with the job I've done as a mom.

To love is a decision and not a feeling, despite what the world tells us.

I realize our world's not unicorns and rainbows, but that was never promised to us.

Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

___

9.11.01

NEVER FORGET.

wednesday phone dump

2011-09-06T22:21:00.000-07:00

A WEEK OF CELL PHONE PHOTOS...

Okay so I keep seeing this "phone dump" bloggers call it.

I'm gonna start doing this. I have ToOons of photos on my phone- none of which I ever see again.

They're terrible quality and blurry. But they have cute faces in them & memories attached, so they're getting posted :)

And there ya have it...from a mom who hasn't uploaded ONE single photo from her real camera since flying in from Montana. Hmmm you think I'm a 'lil burned out???

Labor day sewing class with my girls and our M. friends/sisters!

They learned how to make their own pillowcases, headbands, and fabric hair flowers-

I cannot wait for all the craft nights ahead of us.

Dad stayed home with his boys and watched toy story 3 while we went to sewing class.

They were still in their jammies at... ohh 4 pm.

But there was big smiles on two little boys faces- they love time with their daddy.

ok what?

I was taking a bath while Ky showered...

I look up and here he is, just like this. I grab my phone next to me and take a picture.

Then ask him "Ky what are you doin?"

He opens one eye- and says "mom i'm prayEN...

I saw this pretty light and it made me think to pray"

OHH boy. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at this one.

a night at Barnes Noble with two of my favorite peeps.

beautiful sunset in 118 degrees :S

Bridal shower for one of my besties, Stephanie!! I am SOO excited for her Oct. wedding.

and the morning eyes/hair on Bray- make me want to eat him up whole, this baby.

I snapped this pic cuz this is our typical Friday after school.

Kids running everywhere, friends & laughter, in and out of every room.

Love it.

Having fun with the boys.

Learning primary colors and how to mix/make colors.

Not so fun to clean off the floor/walls/table/hair/inside of ear...
:)

Good Reminders

2011-09-01T06:59:00.000-07:00

“The life we waste everyday because we want a better one or because we are never satisfied with it, is the life that many wish and yearn to have and would give everything to have it”

quote by photographer for CNN.

pinterest photo

Thinking back...

2011-08-30T21:49:00.000-07:00

"what is her deal"??

I remember saying to John as we'd watch our curly dark haired toddler get up from sitting in time out for the 12th time...only to go try that "one thing" just one more time...

at 18 months old when Brooklyn went and FIRST moved the pillows from her time out chair (I always did this before I sat her in it) then toddled over to her sister Kayli and yanked down -with all her might- to get that one shrill, shriek that was such music to her ears :). then proceeded to sit HERself into that time out chair on her own with a smirk... I remember wanting to bang my head into the wall and thinking I was. in. big. trouble. with this one. Ughhh.

She is so strong-willed.

Has a mind of her own.

stubborn as a mule.

Strong as an ox with a pain tolerance to match.

(crawling at 5 1/2 months - ruptured ear drum at 2 and barely whimpered.

From day ONE Brooklyn has been a pistol, ask anyone who knows her.

Her favorite thing to do as a baby: tricks and flips with daddy in the pool.

Thankfully she has outgrown the constant "testing" of her poor momma...

no she's not perfect
but she's perfect for our family.
Kind, loving, helpful, generous,

and still. stubborn. as. a. mule.

(Learning to love the things that are not always easy to direct/steer as a mom)

and

The very things that drove me crazy back then

are the things that I now embrace/see driving her to where she is now.

Which includes the opportunity of being selected for an AZ competitive gymnastics team.

It also involves being one of the youngest on the mat. A huge hOnOR & cHaLlEnGe.

tonight after her long day...with momma's chocolate chip cupcakes still on her lips :)

Add 12 hour days, twice a week (8 school/4 hour practices) and early Saturday morning team practice.

Quite a commitment. Especially for a 'lil 7 year old.

But Brooklyn's THRILLED- and after a 2 week adjustment period (read: tears, sore muscles, and many blisters)

she's convinced us that she loves being on the team (we were ready to pull her) even with the dedication it takes to be at a competitive level.

Anyway, these are all late night ramblings/thoughts from a momma who has such a bittersweet taste of her littles growing up.

I always thought/said I wanted them to stay babies, but it's incredible to see who they're becoming.
Watching their future unfold-
it's exciting, heartbreaking, exhilerating, exhausting, hilarious, gut-wrenching, amazing, and challenging.

Annnd sOmEtImEs all in the same day :)

Heavy doses of Prayer

& the "reset button" save me daily.

I snapped a (iphone) pic of Brooklyn as I tucked her into bed tonight.

I found this lavender/wheat filled blanket that you warm up (the insert) in the microwave. She's FULLY convinced that this indeed soothes/heals all of her muscles after a long practice :)and recharges her for school the next morning.

...and ummmm

I've learned not to argue.

missing montana

2011-08-26T06:42:00.000-07:00

in the worst way.

Guest Post | Emily Patterson

2011-08-24T08:56:00.000-07:00

I am pleased to have a guest post today by Emily Patterson, on behalf of Primrose Schools. She collaborated some fabulous tips for parents of young children and I was more than happy to post her list of ideas to calm nerves. Thanks so much Emily!

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10 Ways to Prepare Your Preschooler for Kindergarten

Although we still have summer to look forward to, these summer months are going to fly, and the fall is going to come and a new group of five- and six-year-olds will embark on the first significant milestone of their educational journey - kindergarten. Whether you’ve been through years of preschool or not, the transition into “big kid school” can cause parents and children alike some first day anxiety.

To help ease the transition to independence, Dr. Mary Zurn, Vice President of Early Childhood Education at Primrose Schools, suggests several ways parents can prepare their little ones before school starts.

“Kindergarten is full of excitement and fun! There’s no need to be nervous,” Dr. Zurn says. “If you prepare your kindergartener for the transition with a few simple adjustments to your routine, you will end up enjoying the milestone, instead of feeling anxious.”

Primrose Schools shares with parents the following 10 tips to help calm kindergarten jitters:

1. Establish a daily routine that fits your family’s schedule and ask everyone to do his or her best to stick to it. Consistently begin morning activities at the same time every day. Don’t wait until school begins - start at least two weeks before the first day and continue the routine throughout the year.

2. Night-time routines are important, too. The whole family can help make mornings easier by taking care of tasks the night before. Try making it a habit to pack book bags, complete homework, and pick out the next day’s clothes in the evening to avoid morning mayhem.

3. Get your rest. Read a bedtime story early enough in the evening for children to get a good night’s sleep. Many morning issues can be avoided if everyone is rested and ready to begin the day.

4. Read, read, and read some more. It’s often the anticipation of the unknown that makes children anxious about kindergarten. Reading about starting school gives children an opportunity to imagine their own experience and express their fears. The following books are fun to read and can help children prepare for the feelings they might experience when school starts:

· When Mommy and Daddy Go to Work by Joanna Cole (1-5 years-old)

· First Day by Joan Rankin (1-5 years-old)

· The Babysitter Sings by Phillis Gershator (1-5-years-old)

· Don’t Go by Jane Breskin Zalben (1-5-years-old)

5. Prepare your kindergartener for longer periods of separation in increments. Before leaving your child at school for the first time, have him or her stay with a grandparent or a babysitter for increasingly longer periods of time. This will teach your child to trust that you will always return.

6. Tour the school with your child. Visit the classroom, meet the teacher and tour the playground so the places and faces they will see on the first day feel familiar and safe. Afterwards, talk about what both of you saw and how fun the different activities looked. Refer to the teacher by name to help your child think of her as a person you know and trust. Reinforce the idea of school as a safe place to learn and play.

7. Set the stage. Talk to your child about kindergarten and help him or her visualize what the day’s activities are likely to be. “On Monday when you go to school, you will see your friends, play on the swings, and read stories. Ms. Smith will be there to help you. It will be a great day! And Mommy or Daddy will be there to take you home when school is over for the day.”

8. Shop for school supplies. Children love shopping for school supplies. Give your child the opportunity to pick out a few items he or she likes (within reason, of course) to provide a sense of ownership and responsibility in the decision-making process.

9. Say a quick “goodbye” and promise to come back. When dropping your child off at school, give a quick hug and kiss, cheerfully say goodbye and promise to return later. The longer you stay the less confidence your child will have in being “left” at school.

10. Establish a partnership with your child’s teacher. Children look for emotional cues from mom and dad’s behavior. The more comfortable you are with your child’s teacher, the more comfortable your child will be. Discuss with your child’s teacher how your child is adjusting over the first few weeks of school. The more visible you can make the connection between home and school the more secure your child will feel.

These tips can help parents adjust to their child entering kindergarten just as much as they can help children.

“Starting kindergarten should be an exciting time for families, not a source of anxiety,” says Dr. Zurn. “If you feel confident and prepared for the transition, your children are likely to feel the same.”

Submitted by Emily Patterson on behalf of Primrose Schools: For over 25 years, they have helped individuals achieve higher levels of success by providing them with an AdvancED® accredited child care services. Through an accelerated Balanced Learning® curriculum, Primrose Schools students are exposed to a widely diverse range of subject matter giving them a much greater opportunity to develop mentally, physically and socially. Emily has written a number of articles on topics varying from bilingual learning to teaching the importance of volunteering.